My oldest son, Aidan, is now 11. When he was in kindergarten the teachers held a Mom’s Muffin Day in May and the kids all drew pictures of their mothers and we had to guess which one our child had created. Some of the children were very artistic, and their moms were decked out in colorful dresses, had neat hairstyles, and were adorned with jewelry. Not me. I was a glorified stick figure with bushy eyebrows, multicolored short hair…and heels. (It almost looks like there is a tear on my cheek…that or he had originally misplaced an eye…) The other mothers, mostly wearing Birkenstocks and worn out sneakers, got a good chuckle out of it. In fact, five years later, as I attended another Mom’s Muffin Day with my youngest children, the teachers and two other mothers who could recall the picture, mentioned the famed portrait as we embarked on another ‘guess the mom’ journey.

I wear heels…all the time. (Well, 95% of the time.) Strappy sandals, high boots, classic work heels…I’m famous for pretty much always having them on. I’m 5’1″ so not only are they a passion, they are a necessity. I do not spend hundreds of dollars on them, I don’t have a huge collection. I just feel better about myself when I am in them. A sexy pair of shoes can do wonders for the soul when times get tough…be it if you’re the one in them or the one who enjoys looking at them. I can recall a day, shortly after giving birth to my second son, when I was sitting in my mother’s living room in comfy post-pregnancy clothes and sneakers. My brother in-law looked at my feet and said, “Jacq… you own sneakers?!”

Xanax…I have 4 kids, two part-time jobs that aren’t really paying the bills, two ex husbands, a boyfriend who drives me crazy, and a free spirit that wants to be able to fully express myself without worrying about the repercussions. When I am working I thrive on the fast pace and daily deadlines. I need constant change and can never imagine having a desk job. I may have a few stalkers. I am the poster child for a should-be Xanax popper.

Do I take it? HIPAA says I don’t have to disclose that information. In short, ‘high heels and xanax’ is a sexier, wittier title than say, ‘TV News Reporter/wanna-be Comedian/Mom Blog’…

Like a good mom, I saved the picture: